On Getting Stuck

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On Getting Stuck

Hi, Team Massive Result’s Thursday’s Thoughts 

Please enjoy “On Getting Stuck” by Ian Kinnery 

Napoleon Hill wrote an extremely influential book called “Think and Grow Rich”. He argued that it is our thoughts that dictate our destiny and that by managing our thoughts we can manage our destiny. Nancy Kline stated, “the quality of everything human beings do, everything- depends on the quality of the thinking we do first” Our thoughts, the use to which we put our minds, are absolutely fundamental to the outcomes that we get in life. It is our thoughts that will be the roots of our satisfaction, our happiness, or our dissatisfaction and our depression. However our mind, our thoughts, on their own are not a totally reliable resource. You see although we know what we know, we don’t know what we don’t know. So the human mind when confronted with a challenge will typically search through what it already knows to find an appropriate solution and then enact that solution. It cannot search through what it doesn’t know. However no two situations are ever identical and thus the chosen solution may not work. So we revisit the problem and pull the same solution out again, and try it yet again. We might alter it a bit, shout louder, be more forceful but still it doesn’t work. We can then become trapped in an emotional quicksand, trying ever harder to get out, and having less and less success. The less success we have the more frustrated we get, so we try a bit harder, shout a bit louder, become a bit more demoralised and eventually end up well and truly stuck. We cannot think our way out of the situation because we are stuck in a thought loop that starts and ends with what we know and so we end up going round and round in circles. Of course we cannot see what we may be missing because we do not know what we do not know. “The man who only has a hammer sees every problem as a nail”. It may be that the hammer has served us well for many years, but that won’t always be the case. Brilliant though the human mind is, on its own it is limited and can become a prison. The only sure way that a human mind can expand what it knows, is in interaction with another human mind. That is how we learn. Trying to solve all of our problems ourselves is a certain way to get frustrated, depressed and stuck. Imagine if the man who once only had a hammer, eventually found that he had a whole toolbox full of tools and had made the effort to become competent at selecting exactly the right one for the situation and had also become a master in the use of each one. How much more resourceful and successful might he now be? That is the role that a coach has.  

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